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Melody laughed, and it was the loveliest sound in the world. It was the sound of lying together in the dark, watching the world change to winter. It was the sound of a future being born. If Jacob knew what the old man knew, he would have seen his fate rolled out before him like a scroll. Twenty-four years of marriage, and Official Do Do There Is No Try Shirt. An errant cell that starts in her stomach lining will reproduce wrong, over and over, and tear her apart from the inside out. All that beautiful hair will slough out in his fingers. He will hold her while she vomits and goes hollow as an old bone. He will hold her and hold her even when she can’t hold him back anymore. Long after her heart goes still. She will scream and cry. Her very nerve endings will betray her. Her mind he loves so much will degrade and die, cell by cell. All her lights flickering off. She will tell him things he will never forget, when her disease is at its worst. She will warp and decay and he will fall apart with her, until he can’t recognize himself anymore.

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Until his life is the shape of a dead tree. Hollowed out for an owl who flew into the dark and never returned home. And he can do nothing but watch. When she is gone. He will spend years alone and only growing lonelier. Tinkering with time. Trying to reverse-engineer his way out of despair. But Jacob will not realize until he is a much older man. The Official Do Do There Is No Try Shirt. Until he can look back on the night he stepped back in time and tried to convince his younger self that it was better to have never loved at all. And when that future finally comes, Jacob will look around at Melody, smiling at him from every picture frame on every wall and mantle. Her ghost kept alive in the candle flame of his memory. And he will be so damn grateful he ignored himself. My girlfriend was in a car accident today. 

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For the first time since we started dating, I actually took a step back and looked at the apartment we have together now and imagined what my day today would have been like if I had to walk inside of it without her, and frankly I can’t imagine the thought without crying. Your story got to me, and I just want to tell everyone that needs the reminder to appreciate everyone they love while they can, because the fact of the matter is that one day one of you won’t be there anymore, and I think we all forget that it can happen anytime. And I never really noticed that I should feel lucky every day. Yes you commented on my story a long time ago, about the Official Do Do There Is No Try Shirt. Since then I’ve gone through your 9 Levels series and now your other pieces; your world-building is just so much fun. (I don’t want to start World Ender though bc I feel like that might just suck up all my time for a week; gotta wait for a vacation).

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